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Archive for December, 2011

Christmas is a time of tradition. But tradition is a fluid thing. For a while there was the tradition of Dad finding waifs and strays on Christmas Day and bringing them back for lunch—but that petered out after couple of real odd balls. Then there was the tradition of going to the family church service [...]

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I’ve been toying with the idea of trying to lose some weight. Nothing too drastic—maybe cutting pork pies out of my diet, or restricting myself to one pudding per meal, or drinking more tonic that gin… I’ve been in denial about the gentle weight gain that’s a by-product of this blog—convincing myself that the tightening [...]

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One of my saddest moments happened when I went to boarding school aged thirteen. It wasn’t down to feelings of abandonment or any old-fashioned fagging system. But I came face to face with the stark reality that normal people didn’t eat ice cream for breakfast. Five years of toast. Boring. Mum always had a liberal [...]

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My family don’t shoot. A few years ago Dad killed quite a few tadpoles by turning on a water pump that pumped them out of the pond (though Mum transported most of them back to safety in a tea strainer), and he did once tentatively tread on a paving stone he’d put on the head [...]

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Sundays are for lying about, listening to Desert Island Discs, drinking excessive amounts of tea…and bacon sandwiches. Thanks Emmett’s for making my Sunday.

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When it comes to nasty things lurking in the fridge, a gnarldy piece of cheese ranks highly. Everyone’s got one. An old lump of Cathederal City, a pongy bit of Castello Blue, or a slippery piece of brie that keeps trying to escape whenever you open the door. Well, those of you with a good [...]

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I don’t know what you were up to on your Friday night - pub, club, Christmas party…well, I was chilling out in the flat (literally - the heating system is far too complex for me to understand), and doing a spot of painting - living the high life! …anyway-here’s the result. Some acrylic apples to [...]

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Yesterday was St Andrew’s Day—and if that isn’t a reason to deep fry mars bars, use Irn Bru as a feasible cooking ingredient and persuade a piper to come blow his pipes in a requisitioned eel and pie shop, then I don’t know what is. With that in mind, I shotgunned a shift at Bonnie [...]

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